What To Wear To A Wedding As A Guest

Ya know, dear reader? When I sit down and brainstorm what I want to write about week after week I typically think about what is something that’s interesting about weddings/events/etc that readers would want to know. 

But this time, I found myself killing two birds with one wedding-shaped stone per say. BEcause as much as I’ll be hopping from wedding to wedding with the team here at OIMDE, I’m going to plenty of weddings myself! And it’s left me in a bit of a jolt, mainly because I’m finding myself saying, “What do I wear?”

So without further ado, and both for you and for me, let’s talk wedding attire, and specifically what to wear to a wedding as a guest. 

Stick To The Wedding Dress Code

First and foremost, always look for whatever dress code was given to you by the happy couple. Well, first and foremost don’t wear white, but THEN always check for the dress code. 

The dress code should be your first rule, because this is the one clue on what to wear that takes out the most guessing. The wedding party knows what they want for their vision for the day and this includes the attire of the guests. For instance, I’m working a wedding this summer that’s planned to be a spring brunch and the couple is asking all guests to wear something that reflects that same idea. 

The wedding you’re going to might not be exactly that specific in scope, but they still know what they want when they ask for black-tie or cocktail attire. 

Curious as to what these phrases could mean? The knot has a very thorough article on what it means when you’re told cocktail attire, etc, etc. 

Stick To The Season

Okay so the happy couple didn’t give you any specific direction on what to wear for the day. That’s fine! There’s still plenty to look for when planning your outfit. 

Secondly I say think seasonally. There’s plenty of inspiration online when looking for wedding attire in spring, summer, fall, or winter. 

Play into seasonal colors! Think patterns (after all, florals for spring are all always groundbreaking), or even think about how complementary colors for the season can accent a chic black outfit. Which brings me to…

Stick To Black…But Not All Black

Honey, I’ve lived in Brooklyn for almost a decade now. And if there’s one that NYC has told me it’s how an all-black attire can still create such distinct flair and character. 

But that’s not to excuse an all-black look at a wedding! 

Just like an all-white look is a no-go, an all-black look is also frowned upon. All-black is the look of mourning at a funeral, and mourning is not necessarily the vibe.

Stick To The Wedding Party!

In the end, listen to whatever the wedding party says! Sure all-black is frowned upon, but that could very well be what the bride is looking for to compliment her reception. And maybe the couple likes the idea of a summer party in the middle of winter. It’s all up to them! 

Should You Have A Destination Wedding?

If Forbes says it, it must be true right? Destination Weddings are back and here to stay!

Certainly a bit of a dip due to *gestures everything* in recent years, but if current trends are predicting right we should see an upswing in all things vacation matrimony! 

But is it the right choice for you? We’re not saying it’ll be the next Kenneth Branaugh film, but there are pros and cons to consider like any big decision. 

So, let’s take a look a bit further. 

Pros And Cons Of A Destination Weddings

Con: Budgeting To the Next Level

Weddings are almost always a big financial undertaking, so it shouldn’t be any surprise that a destination wedding only takes that one step further. With an average baseline cost of $35,000, know that you are only going up from there. 

So consider what this specific addition is bringing to your overall experience, and consider what deductions you might need to make to save on budget. Which leads me to…

Pro: An Excuse To Be Exclusive With Guests 

Destination weddings call for more intimate exclusive lists, due to budgeting. This also can depend on deciding, line by line, what you would want your guests to pay for vs what you will be paying for them.

So if you’re looking for a smaller wedding to begin with, a destination wedding could be what’s in store for your future. 

Con: Global Complications

Especially in recent years, this is a concern for many couples going into the wedding season. But restrictions are lifting, and international travel is overall becoming much, much easier again. Barring any further shutdowns, it might be your best bet to start planning an international experience sooner rather than later. 

Pro: Top Tier Wedding Photos/Experiences

Need we say more? The allure of staying at the Four Seasons in Punta Mita, Mexico or the Florblanca Resort in Costa Rica should make a destination wedding a no brainer. You’re making the work of your photographers and videographers incredibly easy by giving them incredibly scenic productions to build off of. 

What Do You Think?

Would you make the best day of your life a destination wedding? Have you done this before, and have a first hand account? Let us know in the comments! 

BerkShares Goes Digital!

I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again, dear reader. One of my favorite parts of the Berkshires is the continuous sense of community. The strength that the community has for each other in uplifting each other and supporting one another is what really has kept me here. Well, that and how everywhere looks like a painting, but I digress. 

And in another historic move for the region we are seeing the fruits of community connection come alive again, through the recent digital pivot of BerkShares! 

What Is BerkShares?

Berkshires is the local currency of the Berkshire region. Starting in 2006, the currency was established in an effort to encourage Berkshire county residents to #shoplocal. You would convert your U.S. currency to BerkShare notes, and use that in local businesses in the area. 

A risk that inevitably paid off! Since their beginnings in 2006, BerkShares has grown exponentially and is accepted across the entire region. 

BerkShares Goes Digital…Why?

Moving BerkShares is the natural and inevitable next step for the currency. In 2022, it’s projected that 65.3% of Americans will be using online banking. A trend that’s been steadily climbing year after year with no sign of slowing down. 

Between that and the rise of a digital economy it only makes sense for BerkShares to move digital. And, according to the official website, the digital BerkShares app creates a cost-effective alternative for those that accept the currency. You can read more about their money-saving alternatives on the website, but the immediate savings of avoiding any credit-card fees seems like a no-brainer to me. 

Now What?

Exactly! The BerkShares app is free to download now in the Apple App Store or Google Play. Download today, load money on to the app, and use the directory to find all available stores that accept the currency. Like a certain boutique gift shop in South Egremont.

What NOT To Do At A Wedding

Welp, here we go. 

So with all of my recent wedding (and beyond that events in general) posts, I have really wanted to put my most hospitable foot forward. 

But then that got me thinking. With all of these DOs for weddings…what about the DON’Ts? 

Interested? Well, just a simple search online of what not to do at a wedding will absolutely send you down storytime for hours. Believe me this reddit post ain’t for the faint of heart, but it SURE has more gossip than a Real Housewives episode.  

But let’s reel it back a bit. The question “what not to do at a wedding” obviously can lead to a myriad of answers, stories, situations, etc so for this entry, dear reader, I’m dividing it into two halves. 

What Not To Do At A Wedding - For The Invited Guests

Don’t! Forget! To RSVP!

I can’t stress enough how important it is to RSVP as soon as possible. The wedding industry can be very fast-paced, so having your guest list as confirmed as early as possible can be a huge help in finalizing vendors, understanding your final budget, etc. 

Sneak A Ceremony Photo When Photographers Are Present

The photographers are there for a reason! Their job is to capture as many memories as possible. Plus, they will capture the right lighting for you for that perfect Instagram caption later. 

Okay, as I’m writing I will say that at the reception, photos are fine of course. But again, you’ve got a photographer to help you! 

Try Not To Get Wasted

Listen. I’m a drag queen. I’ve been to many a party. And as such I’ve seen how the spirit of the room can really get someone carried away with imbibing. 

But a balance can be struck between having the best time of your life, and also being able to remember it the next day! 

Plus, we all know the party fouls that can happen from someone getting too drunk, and no one wants to be that guy. 

What Not To Do At A Wedding - For The Bridal Party

Remember Who’s Getting Married

Of course you do, but go with me here. Being in a bridal party can be very exciting and lead to some fantastic memories. Just make sure you keep in mind the lucky couple that is the reason for all the partying. No one loves a bridezilla, but a bridesmaidzilla? Double yikes!

Don’t Bother The DJ/Band With Song Requests

Very simple one here, but as a part-time drag queen I have seen plenty of nightlife parties where a DJ can get thrown off course with a song request…or two…or three…

But in the case of a wedding, the songs are often picked by the happy couple. 

A good way to help resolve this issue is asking bridal party and guests for song requests in their invitations. It makes the reception feel a bit more intimate for all those involved. 

When In Doubt, Stick To The Schedule

If there’s one thing that can ensure that a wedding stays on track, it is sticking to the schedule. These timelines are built for a reason, and intended to make sure that all parts of the puzzle move as smoothly as possible. And if you need any help on making sure the timeline is kept in place, maybe look into a wedding planner. 😉

Berkshires Spotlight Series: BerkHub App

We’re at it again, dear reader! Last year I had spoken to a few brands/artisans that we work with at Only In My Dreams, and who’s work we proudly sell at The Shop, and that got us thinking! 

Why stop there??

There are so many amazing, creative minds in the Berkshires so let’s keep going! 

With that said, we’re kickstarting the Berkshires Spotlight Series for 2022 and expanding outward! 

To kick it off, I spoke to Trace Augcomfer, the creator of the BerkHub app. Debuting last fall, the goal of the app is to promote small businesses, and give a comprehensive look at all things Berkshire County. Here’s what Trace had to say: 

P: Where did the idea for the BerkHub app start?

T: I created BerkHub during COVID and actually used the pandemic payments to fund the creation of the app. Moving from a large city to a small town I was able to see the devastation more closely and decided to do something about it.

P: What has been your favorite part of the journey of creating this app?

T: Besides taking pleasure in putting out all the fires that arise when creating something like this, my greatest pleasure is meeting new people. I personally go to each interested business and also show support by purchasing something. I think they appreciate the effort I’m making to help keep them afloat and create greater visibility for them.

P: What has been an unexpected part of the journey of creating this app?

T: Helping to bring the towns together to form one cohesive source for visitors had been a challenge mostly due to the “status quo” mentality. However, when I get calls from Spectrum News 1 to do an interview, when I request a meet with our State Representative Smitty Pignatelli and he supports what I’m doing and also asks me to do a radio interview with him, this lets me know I’m on the right path.

P: What’s one of your favorite spots in the Berkshires to tell people about?

T: When my Mother retired and moved to Sheffield, I would come to visit at least one a year but I never actually drove around the county. She would often express her love for the Berkshires and suggest I move here. Initially I had no interest. She eventually became sick and passed away, but while my time spent here increased I began to drive around the area and eventually decided to move here from Los Angeles. It wasn’t until I arrived and visited the towns that I truly appreciated the beauty of JUST the drive. Then I picked up on the wonderful things each town offered. SO there is no ONE spot to tell people about....The entire Berkshire County is my favorite spot that I love to share with my friends and family when they come visit.

P: What message do you want to spread to those in the Berkshires and beyond?

T: The message is in my creation of the app. I appreciate small town closeness, small town quality and the importance of small town business. The Berkshires is a visitors paradise and hopefully the app will become the unified source for ALL THINGS BERKSHIRES and help maneuver its visitors and 2nd home owners to all the beauty and fun we have to offer.

Thank you, Trace! If you would like more information on the BerkHub app you can check out their website here. You can also download the app now on The App Store or Google Play here! 

Money & Matrimony: Trends, $$$, and What You Can Do

For me personally, a big focus I have in 2022 is on my finances. After the tumultuous past few years, it’s made me ever more vigilant in my finances as well as in my understanding. I want to be as thorough as possible in knowing what I need to know for personal finance, and how I can make that work for me. 

For some, this might sound redundant, and I get that! This is something I know I should know already. But the thing is as a millennial, and especially as an artist, finances aren’t always put in the forefront. They can be complicated and tricky and intimidating. 

Being “bad with money” can almost seem like the norm, or else, what is expected. I love this NPR article that gives great advice on artists and finances, but I digress. 

Money Doesn’t Need To Intimidate

But, in reality, they don’t have to be at all! And, I’m learning that. On the contrary, it’s exciting to have a fuller understanding of my money! I know where it goes, how I can use it properly and make it work for me, and where else I can put it so I can focus on what I love. 

And with that said, I want to bring more of that into this blog. Because money impacts everything around us, including one of the biggest expenses some of us will make. Marriage! 

As such, I’m starting my Money & Matrimony series! Once a month, I’ll be talking about tips on making smarter decisions towards your big day. 

Wedding Flowers in 2022

Wedding Flowers And Inflation, Price Changes

When it comes to inflation, nothing is safe! And this includes your wedding budget down to the last detail. For today, let’s look at flowers. 

Flowers have certainly been on the inflation rise for a myriad of reasons, be it supply costs, weather changes, or otherwise. Inflation is at 15%-20% if not for flower prices doubling entirely. 

And flowers can even seem like an added expense. Sure, you want your wedding to be as beautiful as possible, but does it need to include flowers? 

…

Yes!!!

Wedding Flower Arrangements On A Budget

So what do you do? 

Look and see where you absolutely want to bring in an expert florist. For example, you might want to try your own hand at creating boutineers, but you don’t want to even try creating your own bridal bouquet. 

If you’re looking to get into the finer details on a flower budget for your wedding, this article from Zola does a great job at breaking that down for you. 

Also, I defer to the latest in wedding trends and see how you can lean into your design. 

Bright Colors!

A big wedding trend this year is bright vibrant colors, pastels, and earth tones. Essentially, moving away from clean whites to the maximalism of colors. How can you lean into bringing in more color with other materials and see how that enhances potentially a smaller amount of flower arrangements? 

Keep It Natural!

Another big trend this year is going with the organic look. A more lush and rustic feel or wildflowers vs so obviously professionally cut and arranged is being utilized more and more. Use this as your chance to take a more DIY approach with your arrangements, and see how that can let up on your budget a bit. 

What are some ways you’ve saved money in your wedding? Let us know!

History of Mardi Gras and How to Celebrate Mardi Gras at Home

I just had to do it this year. I had to talk about Mardi Gras! Truly, it’s always been a holiday I’ve enjoyed, partially because everyone does it a bit differently! Growing up I’ve had friends from all different backgrounds, religions, etc. But we all celebrated Mardi Gras somehow. 

Looking to celebrate Mardi Gras this year? Here’s a simple introduction to the holiday, and a way to kick start your party with a few essentials.  

History of Mardi Gras 

What is Mardi Gras?

Mardi Gras is often also referred to as Fat Tuesday, a holiday that marks an end and a beginning. It’s a time to feast and mark the end of the Carnival celebrations, before the start of more humbled fasting during Lent (beginning with Ash Wednesday which occurs the day after Mardi Gras). 

This feast is a time to eat and enjoy everything that you won’t be able to for 40 days when you’re fasting for Lent. 

Mardi Gras in New Orleans

While the oldest recorded existence of Mardi Gras is in 1703 in Mobile, Alabama, the US experience of the holiday has its home in New Orleans, Louisiana. 

According to mardigrasneworleans.com (THE premiere site on the web for all things Mardi Gras) the festival as we know it in New Orleans can be traced to medieval Europe. It was here and then that the French tradition of “Boeuf Gras”, or fatted calf, traveled to the colonies including modern-day New Orleans. 

In France, this tradition was how the end of Carnival was celebrated before Lent. 

If we want to find origins of what we know of today as New Orleans we need to fast forward. According to mardigrasneworleans.com, by the 1780’s we began seeing carnival organizations form all through New Orleans.

This then blossomed into street processions, horseback riders, and eventually floats that became the extravagant moving works of art we see today. 

Mardi Gras Around the World

This is where we REALLY see the tie-ins with Mardi Gras and Carnival. Carnival is celebrated all over the world! While looked at a bit differently all over, Carnival in its many iterations can be found in Italy, Brazil, Trinidad and Tobago, and Germany! 

Germany calls it differently depending on the region. You most likely call it Fastnacht, some areas (mainly East and South Germany) call it Fasching, and in Rheinland it’s referred to as Karneval. 

How to Celebrate Mardi Gras At Home

There are 2 EASY ways to celebrate Mardi Gras at home! One is enjoying the mask wearing tradition with your family and friends, and the second (a fav of mine) is baking a king cake! 

Mardi Gras Masquerade

Mask wearing for Mardi Gras has a fascinating history (like the holiday itself). The mask wearing has come from multiple traditions and overall meaning freedom for whomever wore one! Today, they’re a mainstay during Mardi Gras, and everyone wears one. Here’s a few ideas for making your own! 

Mardi Gras King Cake

Okay, you’ve got your masks. Now what can you enjoy with them? Why a king cake of course! 

The king cake is a reference to Epiphany, when the Carnival celebration begins. Here you have the baby Jesus represented by a plastic baby baked in the cake. If the baby is in your slice, that’s good luck!  

If you’re looking for a good recipe for your own I can’t recommend this one enough! And if you’re looking for something a bit closer to the real thing, here’s a selection of New Orleans bakeries that sell King Cakes!

How To Plan The Perfect Gala

So you probably know this by now, but we ain’t just here to plan your weddings! That’s right, OIMDE loves a good gala, and has enjoyed how we’ve found ourselves planning more and more galas each year. 

So with all of that said, are you reading this and finding yourself planning your first gala? Let’s help you! Read below for some very important foundational tips on how to plan the perfect gala. 

Build Your Basics

If you want to make your next gala the best one yet, make sure you have the basics laid out. What does the timeline of your event look like? What kinds of auctions will you be holding, if any? When do you want dinner to be held, and how long will there be dancing? 

As a planner, I love to liken the process of setting up a gala to that of a wedding. Both are events where my task is to entertain a group of guests. How can you accomplish this as effortlessly (at least in the eyes of the guests) as possible? 

Once that’s handled, then you can move on to the glitz, glamor, and all around flair. 

Curate Your Theme

Okay now the boring stuff is out of the way, let’s make a fun theme! And sure, for this the sky is really the limit. You can make this whatever you want it to be. But I would absolutely stress that your theme should be tied to the work of your organization. 

And within that structure you can find a lot of opportunities for themes. Easiest is if you’re an art institution, because your theme can be in accordance with your latest collection of artwork, around a specific performance, etc. 

But if you’re a community organization, what theme best represents the community? What about the history of the community? What can you do to highlight and uplift what’s exciting about the tenants of your organization. Have fun with it! 

Devil In The Details 

Another lesson I’ve learned where galas and weddings are similar, and that is the details!! 

Once you’ve got the overall timeline set up, then go to each part of the evening, and think what can you do to make that moment it’s best. This is where we think of the photo booths, and the hors d’oeuvres with the theme. 

But also think about the operational details and logistics. Can you afford valet parking or shuttle transportation, depending on the venue. 

Lastly, what about gifts? Is there a nice themed goody bag you can offer to guests as they’re leaving? 

Stay Rooted In The Community 

Speaking of gifts and auction items, make sure to keep it in the community. Galas are all about both showing the community what you do, and also strengthening that community relationship.

As such, it’s the perfect opportunity for you to strengthen that relationship through your auctions, etc. Work with local vendors for food, florist, and dance floor. Make a majority of your silent auction items from artisans and experiences within your community. It speaks volumes to your audience. 

Unite Under One Message 

Lastly, this is all to say is make sure your gala aligns with your mission. And if you really want to know how to plan the perfect gala, this is your number one lesson!

One of the reasons I love working galas is that I love working with non-profit organizations. 

Seeing the mission aligned work organizations do to help their communities, and how vibrant and unique each non-profit is, is one of the best parts of my job! And for guests, seeing all of what you do aligned under one mission and goal will have them enjoying their evening more, and be more empathetic to your work. It’s the best kind of win-win. 

Wedding Trends For 2022

You know, dear reader, maybe it’s the fact that I found the perfect daily planner for me (love a good pen and paper to-do list) or it’s because last night’s powerful new moon has me feeling productive and energized, but I am feeling really excited for 2022! 

2022 Is 2020 But Better

So many people last year were meme-lamenting at the prospect of this year being just a 2020 sequel, but personally I see it as a proper do-over. Sure it can still be “2020 two” but not in a bad way, more of a “what 2020 should have been”. 

Isn’t that an exciting prospect?? 2020 felt like a hard left turn, 2021 was our flop era, so 2022 is the ending of the cinematic trilogy. We got two years worth of set up to make this our best year yet! 

All that to say this has me just jazzed for our weddings we’ve got coming up this year. Our plate of weddings and galas couldn’t be more full, and I’m so excited to see everything in action! As such, over the next few weeks, I’ll be imparting some wedding/gala tips and tricks for anyone who is looking towards their own upcoming events. And if you need any further help, don’t be afraid to reach out. 😉

Forecasting Wedding Color Trends

To kick us off, I’m starting with looking at colors that we’re sure to see more of this year in weddings everywhere. And what a collection! 

Pastels & Earth Tones

Overall, color is abundant this year. After these past two years that had us all over the place emotionally, I really feel like we as a collective humanity are ready for the euphoria of splashes of color. So it’s less of how much color there will be and more of what kind of color will we be seeing! 

With that said, collections of green hues, moss and olives are going to be prevalent. Balance that with a soft blush to create a beautiful soft and calming scene for your guests. Or accent with a striking rust and create a scene that is very visually appealing. 

Jewel Tones! Jewel Tones! Jewel Tones! 

I’m really saving the best for last here. I LOVE a good jewel tone, and I absolutely attribute it to my love of the 90’s (partially in a nostalgic way but mainly because I feel like it was a time I never quite took advantage of in the first place). 

Not only that, but it’s absolutely the year of the maximalist, and thank god for that. I love my minimalist friends and their 5 t-shirts and one framed piece of wall art, but I enjoy living! And society seems to agree. From TikToks to interior design, we’re seeing bold and unabashed statements of life and artistic expression, truly something we could all use after the past two years that we’ve had. 

So I say, go and see how you can add it to your wedding attire and color scheme! Give your guests a world to explore and escape to even if just for a day. A chance to completely embrace this once-in-a-lifetime moment of matrimony. 

What’s Next?

What color trends are you seeing or would recommend? Would love to hear your thoughts! 

Valentine’s Day 2022: A Single’s Guide

I’ll just go ahead and save this. As a gay man who moved to NYC in his early 20’s, I learned a thing or two about the importance of being single. 

And I don’t mean that I was single for any extended period of time in my 20’s, but I’ll get to that. What I will say was as a gay man who grew up in the South my entire life just to then move to NYC? The opportunities for dates were endless! 

But after a broken heart or two (or three, or four, either mine or his) I have learned that being single is good, and important!

So now that we’ve got that out of the way, what’s next? Well, keep reading, and I’ll tell you all of the ways you can celebrate Valentine’s Day for YOU. 

Dinner For One

No one said taking a trip to a nice restaurant wasn’t a bad idea for only you. You deserve it! You’ve worked hard during this first month of 2022, and during a month with both Mercury and Venus is retrograde (though some say is actually a good thing) you’ve survived and thrived and owe it to yourself to have a good time. 

So enjoy a nice meal! Plus, the bill for just one person is always less expensive. 

A Single’s Flick

Studies have shown that going to the movies by yourself can be good for your mental health, and many people love it, myself included! It’s a time for me to disengage with the world around me completely, and dive into a world completely separate from my own. A time for me to experience the joys, sorrows, terrors, and humors of humanity. Sure, a date to the movies is fun, but I’m always down for a solo trip and can’t recommend it enough for anyone. 

Your Own Eat, Pray, Love

It’s becoming more and more popular to vacation alone, and more and more people and vacationing experts recommend it. So why not make this the year where it’s your turn? In a time where we found ourselves so isolated, the world is adjusting on how to safely reemerge and reconnect. It’s the perfect time to plan out a trip for you to find that reconnecting in the world for yourself. And who knows what you’ll get out of it! Just make sure to do it safely. 

You Already Know

So, I can only imagine you’ve guessed by now that I’m not throwing out any new ideas for dates. In fact, this list go work for a couple, a throuple, two best plutonic friends, a family, a whole myriad of relationships! 

And that’s the idea! 

In the end, it doesn’t matter exactly what you do. Be it from last week’s list or this week, you want to make sure that you’re celebrating the beauty and wonder of love. That could mean love of yourself or of others, but regardless I say dive right into that fuzzy feeling. If there’s any time to do it, and any time we need it, it’s right now.

Valentine's Day 2022: Love In The Time Of A Pandemic

It’s been a weird year…er…a weird couple of years at this point. By now we’ve all adjusted to not only a new normal, but the ever evolving definition of what “a new normal” is.

We’ve been doing that for many a holiday at this point, including one that’s coming up! One that is loved by some, despised by others, and otherwise just dismissed. But I’m here to tell you that this is a holiday that a n y o n e can find enjoyment in. Yes, I’m talking about Valentine’s Day. 

And with that said, welcome to a special two-part blog series on ways that can find a refreshing take on Valentine’s Day in a seemingly ever changing world. This week, let’s look at time between you and a significant other. 

Be it someone you’ve known for a few years, or just a few months, here’s a couple of ideas to make Valentine’s Day 2022 memorable however you spin it! 

Couple’s Classes From The Comfort Of Home

We’ve all found ways to pivot and move forward with our lives in this “new normal”, and I mean everyone. And no one has done that quite like Kaitlyn Stewart of Likeable Cocktails or The Duet Dance Studio. 

Duet has created virtual dancing classes covering a variety of topics, and starting at the very basics of learning to dance. Through this, you and your SO can learn any steps you want for your own private dance hall on Valentine’s Day. 

Likeable Cocktails is created by global bartending champ Kaitlyn Stewart. With her virtual bartending classes, you can learn anything mixology, from bar basics to specific cocktails of your choosing. 

Through these flexible and very customizable programs, even an at-home Valentine’s Day wil certainly be one to remember. 

A Spa In Seconds

What about a spa date? Usually homes have the basics for a spa, but what about those special details that will make your spa go the extra mile? With items including homemade bath bombs, exquisite hand made mug from VER, and beautiful Shire Fire candle, our best-selling The Rest And Restore pack is the cherry on top for a spa for anyone.

Fun For Everyone!

And there’s so much more! This is just a taste of the myriad of options for you and your partner to make Valentine’s Day 2022 one to remember! What about options for just one person? I’ve got plenty for you next week. Until then, ciao! 

5 Reasons To Have A Winter Wedding

Weddings haven’t always been my line of work! But in just the short-ish amount of time I found myself in this industry, I’ve noticed one thing. Weddings are always from June to October, if not ONLY in June or October.

And that’s great! Both months offer beautiful seasonal landscapes, plus gorgeous fashion to accentuate the weather. 

But with that said, I really do think that this is ignoring some of the best times of year to have your wedding, mainly the winter! 

Winter is tied with fall as my favorite season. I love those chilly months. There’s such beauty to them (one reason why I love the Berkshires so much), and that only would be enhanced with a winter wedding. 

So why hold a winter wedding? Let me explain.

More Availability

More venues? Check. More vendors? Check. More guests? Check! 

Venues book so far out in advance, and especially in the most high profile months. But, a wedding in early February? Chances are you’re in for a treat, and the same can be said for vendors. 

I also know vendors and venues that have a specific price for the traditional “wedding season” and so catching them during a colder month could give you a price advantage. 

Speaking of, an off-season wedding could appeal more to your guests which brings me to…

No Guest Fatigue!

One of the biggest “adult” moments that happened to me was realizing I needed a separate bank account and calendar for the weddings that I was getting invited to. And don’t get me wrong, I love supporting my closest friends and the happiest days of their lives. But…

It can get exhausting! A wedding in January or February offers a change of pace to the guests. Gives them a chance to make different memories, go somewhere different, even wear something different. And, that’s my segue for… 

Winter Wedding Fashions 

How can the white of your bridal gown or the black of your tux enhance the beauty of a winter backdrop? What does a wool suit on your groomsmen look like against the beauty of snowfall? A winter wedding offers a treasure trove of new opportunities and experiences to look and feel your best on your special day. Why not make this day stand out even further? 

No Humidity!

This one is probably one of my favorite advantages. I grew up in the deep south near Appalachia which means summer after summer of the highest humidity around. I’m also not one for sweating, especially when I’m trying to look and feel my best. 

So why not experience your day in weather that crosses that right off the list? Not to mention less uncomfortable guests (no guest fans needed!). 

Something Borrowed, Something Different

Overall, this is a time of year that makes a wedding seem unexpected. Because of that, the advantages and possibilities are endless, and therefore a completely unique experience is being created by you for your significant other as well as your friends and family.

New Year’s Resolutions Fit For Anyone. Yes, Anyone.

Happy. New. Year. 

Really, I mean it! I know that it can certainly feel a bit of an empty greeting sometimes, but for me I really do believe it. 

Sure, I’m a virgo who LOVES a to-do list and starting from a clean slate, right? But that’s what January 1st brings to me! It’s the ultimate clean slate! The #1 fresh start that you can use for you and only you. 

And here’s the thing, I get it. I’ve heard New Year’s resolutions list after New Year’s resolutions list, and I’ve even tried it myself many, many, (many) times. 

Which, ultimately, is why I love the start of this year that much more. Because I’ve got my New Year’s resolutions, but this time they’re different, and I know I can make them happen. 

A Resolution On Perspective

For me, I’ve always created the New Year’s Resolutions of working out more, or actually putting down my phone and reading books for a change, just for example. But in the end, I find excuses to “start tomorrow” until I just give up altogether.  

And for me, I think it’s because I’m setting myself up to fail. I keep putting myself in this rut, that I know I will fall into again and again. Especially within the very weird (to put it lightly) landscape our society is in currently. 

So! The remedy to that took a minute to be realized, but as soon as it did I was like why didn’t I think of this before? It’s not a matter of focusing on the product, but the process. 

As a theater-maker by trade, I learned that that was where the magic happens, and the real growth is manifested. So why not apply that to my resolutions! 

And without further adieu, here are my new and improved new year’s resolutions that I made, that I think are perfect for anyone. 

New Year’s Resolutions For Anyone

Find Time For Presence and Breath

I originally wanted to say “PUT YOURSELF FIRST” because I certainly am guilty of putting the needs of others first and foremost in my life and leaving my own wants and needs behind. But, I think that this encompasses that, for those who might need that kick in the pants like I do and those that don’t. 

Find small moments of time throughout your day where you can stop (literally and physically) and breathe and think about your day. Maybe use this time at the end of the day when you reflect or maybe it’s for the morning as you get going. 

But finding time to be present in the moment will help you re-assess your work for yourself and your work for others. And it is just a good time to give your body a quick break so you can stay at your best. 

Reach For A Process, Instead Of A Definitive Goal

For the longest time I’ve had issues with going to the gym. It’s tough, it’s vulnerable, and it can get seemingly in the way. But I was focusing on end goals, losing weight, fitting into clothing, rather than actually looking at the bigger picture. 

Think of the process and how it can help you over all in life instead of just one benchmark. It’s helped me be a little easier on myself and strive for longer term wellness as opposed to one goal, and then quickly stopping. 

Engage With What Is Uncomfortable

This one is a bit different than the other two, but for me is one that I find important. In a world of social media we all find ourselves shouting into our own personally curated echo chambers. I personally have been on Facebook since 2006 so I CERTAINLY can relate to this. 

And I’m not saying to go to some extremist and have a coffee and chat with them (though I’ll admit I’m very interested in being a fly on the wall there) but what I am saying is do research into “why” other people might have different beliefs. 

Look at why they believe those things and try to understand their perspective. No one human can be boiled down to a Facebook status, and we’re all deserving of understanding why we have the complexities that we have, and that’s what makes humanity so fascinating! 

You’re Already Doing It!

In the end, if you’re striving to just be a better person, you’re already doing it! You’re already working towards goals that should be celebrated. And that, I think, is what’s most important at the start of any new year, new month, or new week even. Also, drinking more water, but maybe that’s just me. 

Congratulations to you! And cheers to a happy 2022! 🥳

You’re Engaged, Now What? Next Steps You Can Take Now!

You did it! 

You pulled off the flash mob or surprise that you’ve been planning for the past few weeks and you popped the big question to your now fiance. Or maybe you were the one that finally got the proposal you’ve dreamed of for years. 

And if you’re asking yourself, “I’m engaged, now what?” I completely understand. Working in the wedding industry people certainly find themselves asking this to various degrees, and that’s what I’m met with in consulting meetings. 

But the steps are easier than you might think! So with that said I’m breaking down the steps you should take after you’re asking yourself, “I’m Engaged, Now What?”

5 Steps To Take Now That You’re Engaged

Celebrate!

CONGRATULATIONS! What a momentous occasion for anyone! Make sure that you take time for yourself to celebrate, and enjoy the fact that you’ve reached such an exciting next step in your life. Also, don’t worry about being too stingy. For many people this happens only once, so enjoy the ride while it lasts. 

So bottom line, enjoy the engagement and make this moment last as loooooong as you want. No one needs you to get married tomorrow, it’s all up to you. 

Insure The Ring

I promise there are plenty of fun steps on this list, but you’ll thank me later for this one. Engagement rings range in price from couple to couple, but the average price over the past few years has ranged from $3,000-$7,000. That ain’t small change! Ring insurance also is cheaper than anticipated and can give you peace of mind as you move forward with making the bigger purchases for your big day. 

Make A List And Think Big!

Okay, back to the fun steps. Remember earlier when I said I love making to-do lists? This is certainly a fun one, and I encourage you to feel the same! For this step, think less of “oh which vendors should I reach out to” and more so “what all do you want my day to be like?” 

What season do you want to get married in? Do you have a dream date or hashtag? What are your favorite colors and how do you want to incorporate those into the wedding of your dreams? Think big, think dreams, and most of all have fun with this step! This is your day so you get to make the final decision on how you want it to play out. 

Make A Budget

Alright, so you’ve got your dream wedding list now let’s make it happen! Starting from a budget is going to ensure you’re putting your best foot forward through the entire process. Budgets can certainly be intimidating, but there is also freedom within a budget. It doesn’t need to be scary!

So sit down with your fiance, and consider what your budget will look like, and include in this your maximum spend amount. Also, I recommend checking out the Budget Savvy Bride as she’s got great advice on this exact topic. 

Start Planning

Okay, so you have your dreams, and the budget to back it up? Now is the time to start planning. This is where you can get less into the questions of centerpiece arrangements for the tables, and more into where we are renting the tables from.

And this certainly isn’t easy! It can involve a lot of logistical work, spreadsheets, and emails on emails. But with a consistent stream of communication between you and your fiance, it’s an incredibly doable task. 

And don’t remember it’s okay to reach out for help! Do you know of anyone in your family with strings to pull? The answer might be closer than you think. 

Not to mention this is where the work of a good wedding planner shines forth. Maybe even one that was voted Best in The Berkshires for 2021? But I digress, and don’t let me toot our horn, I’ll let our client reviews speak for themselves. 

You Can Do It! 

The wedding of your dreams is more possible than you think, and there are plenty of ways to get there and people who can help you along the way. And with that said, congratulations and cheers to the new year! 

Looking Back On 2021: A Year In Review

It’s my favorite time of year! I’m a virgo who LOVES making lists of all kinds, dear reader. To-do lists, grocery lists, secondary-to-do lists, procratinating-instead-of-getting-work-done-to-do lists…the list goes on! 

But this time of year means we’re creating the ultimate list! A year in review list! And boy oh boy what a year we’ve all had. 

So without further ado, let’s take a look at the year we’ve had at Only In My Dreams Events. 

2021 Year In Review (in no particular order)

Packs With A Purpose

At OIMDE, believing in the power of community has always been a cornerstone of our work. We love how creating events is always a community effort. And such, we always want to make sure we give back to our own community. Which is why we launched our Packs With A Purpose this year! Ranging from orgs like the Berkshire Immigrant Center, to the Berkshire South Regional Community Center, we’ve loved seeing how our curated packs can not only support the community with locally sourced items, but through donations from the profits, as well. 

Norman Rockwell Gala 

Back in July, we partnered with The Norman Rockwell Museum to plan and coordinate their annual gala, the first in-person gala in the Berkshires for 2021! Working with the museum meant understanding what proper public health precautions needed to be meant as we all navigated a new normal, and doing so together! That’s right even in 2021 there’s time for fantasy and drag queens. 

The Mount Gala

In September, coming off of a double-event weekend, we worked with The Mount in planning and executing their first ever gala! 2021 brought gala planning front and center into our work and we couldn’t be happier, and it certainly has us looking toward 2022 for more gala planning. Stay tuned for more on that fabulous front! 

Berkshire Eagle Best of 2021 

In an absolute surprise to us, we were awarded the BEST WEDDING PLANNER OF 2021! Thank you, again, to the incredible community that we get to be part of for voting us your favorite wedding planners! In an unprecedented year for all of us, we’re so grateful to still play such a huge role in creating memories that last a lifetime. 

LGBT Chamber of Commerce

Last, and most certainly not least, is one of our most recent 2021 memories! Earlier this month we were showcased among other LGBT-owned small businesses in Western Massachusetts at the official launch of the Western Massachusetts chapter of the Massachusetts LGBT Chamber of Commerce. Community comes in all forms, and to be part of such a vibrant LGBT community right in our own backyard is a blessing we don’t take for granted. 

Here’s To 2022!

And that’s it! Of course our entire year was filled with memories from start to finish, and we’ve still got a week and some change to go, so with that said here’s to us! To all of us. Here’s to you, dear reader, and here’s to the wonderful Berkshires community that we get to call home every day. 

Last-Minute Gifts For Anyone - Holiday 2021

It happens to all of us. You’ve done it. I’ve done it. It’s so prevalent we see how-to guides online every year! 

Last-minute gifts! They plague all of us, especially right at that final bend before the holidays, and so often with those friends and family members who you just can’t quite figure out what to get them. 

But never fear, dear reader, that’s why you read this blog right? I’m here to give you some ideas for last-minute gifts that anyone would enjoy. 

And did I mention that all of the below items are available at The Shop in South Egremont? I like to keep things convenient for ya. 

2021 Holiday Last-Minute Gift Guide (in no particular order!)

5. Holiday Coffee Table Book

Decorating for the holidays can seem daunting every year, but trust in a virgo to give you ways to find mutual function in your decoration! And as such I love a good coffee table book because this means function (you can show your guests that you’re an intellectual) as well as decoration! The perfect match for the holidays? Personally, I’m a fan of “The Golden Girls: ‘Twas The Night Before Christmas” but don’t take my word for it. Why not ask Mrs. Claus herself?

4. Cutting Board/Charcuterie Board

A nice good quality cutting board is always a find. Especially a local find that is handcrafted. This means a board for function and fashion! If you remember in my last blog I wrote how a holiday party always can get kicked off with a nice charcuterie, and that’s where a good board comes in.  

3. Glassware

Maybe it’s because I was a waiter/bartender for so long in a past life, but glasses breaking are not uncommon to me nor to anyone really! So with that said, glassware is always a nice touch! Particularly if you can find one that’s custom to wear you’re from, the gift recipient is from, etc (*cough cough* similar to our own Berkshires etched glassware at The Shop *cough cough*).

2. Local Art

I always say that giving art for someone to hang on their wall is always a nice idea. Especially local! It gives them the opportunity to brighten and customize their living space just a touch more, creates a lasting tangible memory between you and the recipient, and when local you’re supporting the local economy. Can’t say enough how much I recommend this idea! 

1. Gift Card

I just had to put this one in there. And I know I might get some flack for this. But Philip! Who said that gift cards are a good idea! It’s so impersonal! 

Honey, that was 2015 of you! A hand-written card with an enclosed sum of money for whatever the recipient wants to do with? In this economy? Sign. Me. Up. 

And you can even customize even further. Say you get a gift card to a restaurant and tell them it’s for a dinner for them and their significant other. Or even a gift card to their favorite South Egremont boutique and gift shop!? Possibilities are endless.

That’s Not All!

These are just a handful of the possibilities for last-minute gifts this year, or any year. And trust me it can be so overwhelming I hear ya! So I hope this can serve as a jumping off point for you to cross off the last of that list and enjoy the rest of your holiday season. 

Until next time! 

Holiday Party Essentials For This, And Every Year!

How many holiday parties have you been to this year? 

At this point in 2021 I wouldn’t be surprised if you have said quite a few. Between the boosters, return of friendsgiving, and Hanukkah already over even though we’re barely a week into December, it’s been a year to celebrate community and spread that holiday love. 

But we’re still not over! You’ve still got time to make this year THE year you plan your best holiday bash ever. 

But, Philip, you ask! What do I do?? Christmas feels like it’s right around the corner and then bam we’re in New Year’s! 

Dear reader, to quote the biblical angelic messengers of old, Be Not Afraid. I’m here with the tips and tricks you need! All of the holiday party essentials that can turn every other party into a ghost of Christmas Past (but maybe not the one from the Muppets, I always got a weird vibe from her). 

2021 Holiday Party Essentials

Always A Charcuterie

Honey, it’s truly phenomenal that with just some simple meats, cheeses, and fruits arranged on a nice board, you’ve got the ultimate party starter/icebreaker. During this time of year I always recommend using more holiday themed snacks (a fig spread or a goat cheese coated in chopped walnuts) but really the world is your oyster with this one. Experiment! Choose your favorites! Or ask your invitees to RSVP with their fav, and make a greatest hits charcuterie. 

And if you’re looking for the perfect charcuterie board, we’ve got you covered at The Shop. 

Crowd-Source Your Playlist

Speaking of RSVP q’s, snag your fav holiday tune from all of your guests on the invite. Build a playlist that’s inviting and has a little something that everyone will enjoy. This can also create a common ground among your guests and ensure they have something to talk about (that weather small talk will only take them through one cocktail). 

The Cutest Cocktails

Google is your friend here. Want a delightful and easy spin on cocktail classics? The internet provides lists upon lists (I’m personally a fan of this one, this one, and this one). 

HAVE FUN

I know that one comes off as maybe too obvious, but this is the arguably this is the most important of any holiday party essentials I could give you.

And as a wedding planner who moonlights as a drag queen, I’ve learned that if you’re not enjoying yourself as a party host, the crowd will smell your anxiety in no time flat. And they want to just as much fun as you do. So relax! Snag a cocktail! You’ve made it to the end of another year, and it’s time for you to enjoy and celebrate with the ones you love most. What else needs to be said?

ARTIST SPOTLIGHT: EMILY JOHNSON

I know I’m not telling you anything new, dear reader, by acknowledging and just fawning over the varied and wonderful landscape of artists in the Berkshires, and our monthly artist spotlight has been exactly that! 

What I will say, though, is that through this series I’ve gained a new appreciation for the Berkshires. There really is something about this place that unlocks an artistic experience in all of us. 

Not only that, but the Berkshires creates this artistic energy year round! There’s always something to draw artistic inspiration from, and an audience who will be receptive to it. 

And one artist in particular that we work with who knows just how to put their finger on the pulse in their artwork is Emily Johnson! Someone who we love at Only In My Dreams and who’s artwork manifests through simple boutique gifts we always have room for at The Shop. 

For this month’s artist spotlight, we bring in Emily Johnson and hear her perspective of her work, the world of artist, and we should do to celebrate art and the Berkshires, ourselves. 

When did you start your work as an artist, and when did it evolve into the work that we see and sell at The Shop? 

I have always done some sort of craft, it evolved when my son Aaron (Berkshire Drag Queen Boxxa Vine) started doing drag shows and I was making merchandise for him, then into items to sell to make money for more shows.

Is there an artist in particular that inspires you and your artwork?

My mother and Aaron both are artists that sew, it skipped a generation with me. They both can make anything out of fabric and a sewing machine.

What’s your favorite spot in the Berkshires to tell people about?

I would say my favorite spot in the Berkshires is Naumkeg. I had never been there until this year and love just walking around there.

As an artist living in 2021, what is one message you want to spread to the world?

Buy Local

We couldn’t agree more! Thank you so much to Emily for speaking with us. And if you want to shop locally you can find Emily’s latest work at The Shop.
Stop by today!

Christmas Traditions Of Old And New

I’ll have you know, dear reader, that though I might shout my love for the Berkshires from the digital rooftops through this blog as much as I can, I’m not there as much as I’d like to be!

My home base is New York City, Coney Island to be exact. And though I love the foliage and scenery that a wintery Berkshires brings, around this time of year my favorite place to be is NYC, and it’s because of and for the holidays! 

The holidays in the city are a special time, and like nowhere else. Why is that? Easily, and very simply put, it’s tradition. 

The holidays in NYC always bring me the same amount of fuzzy warmth that carries all the way through the New Year, and that’s largely in part to the consistency and determination of carrying holiday traditions here and in such a massive way! No expense is spared for a Rockettes show! 

But why is this so important? Why do we celebrate our Christmas traditions year after year, sometimes regardless of finances, scheduling inconveniences, or otherwise? 

Holidays = Human Dignity

The essay Preserving Culture and Heritage Through Generations states how “Culture and its heritage reflect and shape values, beliefs, and aspirations, thereby defining a people's national identity. It is important to preserve our cultural heritage, because it keeps our integrity as a people.”

Our traditions are our cultural heritage. Regardless of your background or whoever you are, your traditions are your personal cultural heritage. Furthermore, what makes NYC so incredible is a population of humans who not only come with a wide variety of cultural heritages, but live in a place where they know they can live their lives as they see fit, and live through their traditions year after year. 

This is a cornerstone of America at large, of course, but I’m just focusing on NYC because I’m maybe a smidge bias. 

But as a huge lover of the Berkshires, I just love saying how important the recognition and understanding of cultures is paramount to the area, as well. With organizations like BRIDGE we can see advocacy for understanding and mutual recognition of our lives and who we are in respect to each other. And ain’t that just a wonderful thing? 

Traditions In The Time Of Zoom

But how do Christmas traditions sustain themselves now? We all were subject to thinking about holiday celebrations and vacations and traditions during 2020, and though 2021 might be a bit of a more relaxing environment, it’s still a new normal. 

A new normal we are all navigating. 

And we’re navigating it together! As a collective of humans with our own unique experiences and traditions that we’re individually bringing to the table. 

So this year, look at what worked last year and try that again. How does what you’ve done and what you’ve had to pivot to combine into something new? 

Because any Christmas tradition has to start somewhere. 

The History of Black Friday & More!

You know it, you hear about a bit earlier each year, and you’ve most likely participated yourself! Yup. Be it Black Friday, Small Business Saturday, or Cyber Monday (and that isn’t even all of ‘em!), holiday shopping REALLY has itself set into Americana as much as apple pie. 

But where did it all begin?? How did this weekend in particular become such a turning point for retailers and American consumerism?? 

As part of my ongoing and unofficial series on the history of American holidays (for more, check out my blogs here, and here), I’m giving you a quick rundown of the quintessential weekend for consumerism. 

Why Black Friday? 

Okay, I’ll admit it. I love Black Friday. I love getting into the holiday spirit, and snagging myself some deals for gifts for those I love. And I have certainly waited outside of a business at 10PM on a Thursday night just waiting for the store to open (only did it once, and probably won’t even again, but I did it!). 

Plus, Black Friday in its originality wasn’t a term with a pleasant connotation. According to Huff Post, the term “Black Friday” was originally used in 1869, when sales in gold dropped and created a major stock market crash. 

It wasn’t until the mid-20th century that the term “Black Friday” was used by police in Philadelphia as they dreaded the day from shoppers. 

Eventually, marketing firms have spun the name to infer the day as a moment for retailers to make some of their highest profits all year. And this has certainly held true! 

And I’ll be real, the day certainly doesn’t have the best reputation, but in recent years, campaign have been held to try and turn that around which leads us to… 👇

Small Business Saturday! 

In 2010, as America was coming out of another recession, American Express created the Small Business Saturday campaign to turn the focus and attention towards local businesses and the mom and pop shops that we know and love. 

And this has held true! Sales increase on this day year after year, with this year proving to be even better! Taking part in the occasion and investing back into your community directly is a great way to keep your community’s economy resistant during troubling times, and we couldn’t agree more! 

There’s More?!?!

Yes there is! While a catchy name for Sunday hasn’t really caught on, Cyber Monday (a day to promote online sales) and Giving Tuesday (a day to donate to your favorite non-profit) have been catching on to the train of the explosively successful Black Friday weekend. 

Will you participating in Black Friday? Let us know in the comments below! 

Until Next Time, 

Philip